Dr. Dolittle of the Dead

For those of you that have satellite radio and enjoy completely mindless conversation that allows you to laugh at stupids, tune into channel 107 for the Pet Psychic - check your local listings! Sonya Fitzpatrick is a whack-a-do Brit that will answer any and all pressing questions about your dead pet and their feelings.  It is BRILLIANT and absolutely ridiculous all at the same time.  There's never a lack of callers, but they all ask pretty much the same crap:

Cat Lady - "Oh Sonya!  First time caller, long time listener and I just want to know if you can tell me anything about my cat Muffy?"

Psychic Lady - "Oh Darling - Muffy is right here and says that you were the best mum a cat could have!"

Cat Lady - "Really?  That's so wonderful! I always wondered how happy he was with my 15 other cats." (shocker)

Psychic Lady - "Oh, yes, he's laughing and telling me that it was quite the full house but he loved it although he would occasionally get in a romp with the one kitty." - yes, cats laugh

Cat Lady - "Oh, ha ha, yes, he didn't always get along with Buffy.  It's amazing that you know that"

Psychic Lady - "Well, darling, he's telling me all about the great times he had with you!  Tell me, did you ever give him any special treats?"

Cat Lady - "Oh YES!! He really loved them - but I didn't give them to him as much as he wanted"

Psychic Lady - "Yes, he just told me that you were really stingy with the treats - but he wants you to know that he'll be reincarnated really soon and be back at home!  Thanks for calling!"

First of all - hands off to Ms Fitzpatrick - I imagine she's making a pretty decent living off this crap, so good for her! However, what I want to know is why can't these people come up with better questions! I mean if she is really a feline/canine/whatever-ine linguist, let's ask about stuff we all want to know! 

What is really with all the ass licking and eating your own shit?  Explain the payoff.
Is a tampon applicator really worth digging through the trash?
Why can't you just be polite and leave the room when your owners are having sex?
Why is it so hard to distinguish the TV doorbell from ours?


Anyway - apparently she has a couple shows on Animal Planet too, but I haven't had a chance to check those out - I have Real Housewives to keep up with.